Strangest new student questions you've been asked

[Darthwing Teorist]

Hissing eye - good one!

[cerebus]

Heh, heh. I've heard a few people call Hsing-I "hissing eye". It's REALLY hard not to crack up and embarrass them....

[edededed]

Maybe all kids should learn how to read Pinyin and Wade-Giles in primary school?

Variants:

Hissin' Eye - Hissing Eye's older cousin
Hissin' Eye Loo Ho - Hissing Eye's crazy cousin

Cow Style Pa Kwa - some kind of dance that Pa does with cows?

[Michael Babin]

Hissing Eye is a good story and reminds me of the phone message I had at my Studio.

I returned the call and an elderly lady answered. When I said who I was and asked "Someone called the Tai Chi Studio?" she muttered indignantly 'I didn't call for a taxi!"

I tried to interject that it was "taiji" and not ... but she was already yelling to someone else "Henry, did you call for a taxi?"

I guess he must have answered to the negative cause she added 'We don't need a taxi!" and hung up.

[Dmitri]

This doesn't come close to some of the other great stories here, but one lady (at the beginning of her free intro class) asked if she should have brought a floor mat (meaning like those used in some yoga schools), for the tai chi practice. I think I contained myself OK when answering 'no', but nevertheless she quietly walked out after the first (qigong) part, -- didn't even try the second half, after it was described to her (which is an hour of basics that make yer thighs burn.) Wrong kind'a "tai chi"...

[cerebus]

This doesn't come close to some of the other great stories here, but one lady (at the beginning of her free intro class) asked if she should have brought a floor mat (meaning like those used in some yoga schools), for the tai chi practice. I think I contained myself OK when answering 'no', but nevertheless she quietly walked out after the first (qigong) part, -- didn't even try the second half, after it was described to her (which is an hour of basics that make yer thighs burn.) Wrong kind'a "tai chi"...

But Dmitri, Tai Chi is supposed to be "soft" and "easy", everyone knows that...

[CaliG]

Er... what's an "energy twin?"

Haven't you seen the ONE?

[Schu]

Hello All,
Somehow religion always seems to creep in and I tell my students I am Taoist but will only talk about that or any religion outside of class as it does not directly pertain to what I teach, but one newer student calls me on my cell and leaves a message that she has an important question. I call back and she was concerned if she could practice kung fu and be a christian at the same time! Of course I said no and that she must shave her head and dedicate her life to me I mean really the White Lotus Cult doesn't accept christians!

By the way I do teach how to kill (ie this technique applied like this has serious consequences so be careful) and do not find that a strange question if approched properly. If it is up front before I have accepted them and it seems abrupt I send them to the YMCA to learn Karate or TKD. I have a whole spiel on the legality of using your art and philospohy as taught by my teacher to honor anyone that challenges you by showing them your skill...all of it (friendly matches are the exception).

Also no uniforms at my school so I understand that question as well. Not even school shirts. I don't care to advertise or profit from my students anymore than the already cheap monthly fees.

I would have defintely accepted the energy twin but advised the corporeal twin that she can't attend. I would then set up an auto deduction from her bank account and give her monthly reports on how the energy twin was doing! (OK so I would profit from this one but she would appreciate it!)

Strangest question I ever asked as a noob:
"Will sex affect my chi gung and Tai Chi practice?" my Sifu answered with a smile, "All things in moderation."
He knew I had no social life so it was moot question a that time!

The way I answer my beginning students . "No, not the way you practice!" Hahaha!

[GrahamB]

I think the real issue is if you let students bring their energy twin do you charge them twice?

[Michael]

-- didn't even try the second half, after it was described to her (which is an hour of basics that make yer thighs burn.) Wrong kind'a "tai chi"...

Maybe she thought you were coming on to her?

Definitely don't talk about penetrating your opponent's center.

[TenTigers]

I have had countless people ask about "Kweegong" (qigong) and Taijeekwan.
Of course, the folks who want to learn self-defense but without contact. They weren't to happy about me suggesting a scoped rifle.
When my teacher said that for deeper internal training, there is to be no sex for 108 days. I asked,
"Is that with, or without a partner?"

[chuckhulse3]

Not exactly question but some crazy happenings...

1. I was teaching intro push hands with a girl who had pretty large breasts. Out of courtesy if I pushed on her chest I tried to avoid the tits. After a while, she looked at me and said... ¨Hey don´t be afraid of the boobs you can push on them if you want to.¨ That was a moment I´l will never forget. Still I tried to avoid the boobs, since Tai Chi is so ghey I wouldn´t want to ruin its reputation..hehe

2. A lady in her late 50´s that took lessons from me years ago came to class very upset. I tried to get her to practice so she might forget whatever was bothering her. In the middle she would exclaim ¨Fuck! That´s bullshit¨... Then she would spout out ¨Tits and Ass!¨ This lady was disturbing other students with the profanity. In that class I would walk around and help srudents individually. When I got to her she was very distracted. I asked what is going on. She then walked over to a chair and picked up a pile of papers. Then she started explaining that the papers were printouts of web pages she had visited. She was irate and asking if I had any ideas as to how to stop these sites from posting the information she found so offensive. I looked at the stack and it was all porh. There was a stack of about 50 pages. I was astonished and all I could suggest is that she just stop going to those sites. She asekd ¨How´s that gonna help?¨ Hmmmmm

3. Someone asked me on the phone ¨How much does a black belt cost? I don´t have time to learn and would rather just purchase one¨ I didn´t have belts and never will... I guess I lost out on a fortune¨¨

BTW, I haven´t been to this site in a while. I just moved to Costa Rica. I teach Chen Style Tai Chi and studied with Cheng Jin Cai 8yrs private just in case anyone doesn´tt remember me. I hope to be here more

[Bodywork]

Strangest new student questions you've been asked
Three, that i had translates into Japanese so I could point to them on the wall
When they feel it
1. "What the fuck is that?"
When I get them to do somethings
2. "But didn't do anything, how can this be?'
My favorite from experienced martial artists. Who previously made fun of the very idea of internal training or aiki as power
3."How come people don't know about this stuff?"

[Dmitri]

Nice, though these are probably not "the strangest", but "the most common"...

[Gary]

From a brainwashed member of the local "cult" karate school.
"Who authorized you to teach these animals?"
To which I replied, "ME".

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From a younger guy visiting the school when I invited him to join the class to try it out.
"No, thanks. I practice stuff you can fight with"
I replied, "I'll fight you. Or spar, whatever you want".
Him, "Uh, No thanks, I gotta go". (i'm not intimidating at all)

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Some delusional guy told me in the school he was a master of snake and crane knife fighting. "Everything I know is deadly. FOR KILLING. I'd like to learn some stuff that doesn't kill people."

I asked how many people he had killed. Him, "Well, none."

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