I regret the violence I didn’t commit.

[Steve James]

You couldn't have fought back when you were a child. If you'd fought him after you trained, it would have been murder. You wouldn't have felt better at all. It was he who probably ended life with beating a kid on his conscience. You ended up stronger and better than he.

[windwalker]

You couldn't have fought back when you were a child. If you'd fought him after you trained, it would have been murder. You wouldn't have felt better at all. It was he who probably ended life with beating a kid on his conscience. You ended up stronger and better than he.

While I can understand this view point.

Do not agree.

The old dead teacher is still beating him.
Otherwise why would he want to go back to beat the teacher.

In China people burn many things to send to those who have passed. Why not send an asskicking or ask one of the many Chinese gods to take care of it

[Steve James]

Well, in the west, there's a saying that if you seek revenge, dig two Graves. The problem is not the dead bully. It's how his acts still bother John. He can keep living with those feelings or not. There's nothing to be done about the past.

Actually, the only way to get over it is to forgive the person, and hope he can't forgive himself. That's one road to healing. I know that it's not the most popular. In some cultures, they would dig up the bodies of dead enemies just to keep injuring them in the afterlife. I get it.

[everything]

well this is why certain wars never stop

[johnwang]

Well, in the west, there's a saying that if you seek revenge, dig two Graves.

I have given up many revenges in my life. The person who said that he was going to kill me next time we met. He is still alive and lives in Houston. The day he said, "John, look at how big you are and how small I'm. How can you take advantage on me?" I had forgiven him right at that moment.

[Strange]

while that belligerence might be seductive;
i find that the lucidity and cunning required of a fighter will be lost

Dao De Jing, Chapter 68

[yeniseri]

They don't have enough graves for my enemies so let karma do its stuff!

[johnwang]

well this is why certain wars never stop

春秋曰：襄公複九世之仇！，... 家恨的話，卻是隻能三代之內了……

Old Chinese saying said, "To revenge for your nation, you can wait for 9 generations. To revenge for your family (or yourself), you can only wait for 3 generations."

[Steve James]

Well, if you really want revenge, you attack the people your enemy loves. But what does that make you?

If you want some good examples of revenge and its effects, look no further than Shakespeare. Titus Andronicus and that Scottish play come to mind. There have been equally bad examples in recent times, but nothing beats the human imagination. Rwanda is an example of the worst atrocities yet the most hope.

[Strange]

we all live in modern societies with the rule of law and with generally effective law enforcement and
judicial system. Assuming that, one is not gonna "the feck with it", you will need to a plan to carry out
the said "revenge"

how you gonna do it?
you wanna go up to they guy and challenge him to a death match?

[Giles]

Well, in the west, there's a saying that if you seek revenge, dig two Graves. The problem is not the dead bully. It's how his acts still bother John. He can keep living with those feelings or not. There's nothing to be done about the past.

Actually, the only way to get over it is to forgive the person, and hope he can't forgive himself. That's one road to healing. I know that it's not the most popular. In some cultures, they would dig up the bodies of dead enemies just to keep injuring them in the afterlife. I get it.

........................................................

Well, if you really want revenge, you attack the people your enemy loves. But what does that make you?

If you want some good examples of revenge and its effects, look no further than Shakespeare. Titus Andronicus and that Scottish play come to mind. There have been equally bad examples in recent times, but nothing beats the human imagination. Rwanda is an example of the worst atrocities yet the most hope.

+1

Forgiveness for something bad or terrible is hard and it can't be done just at the push of a button. But even if you can't (yet) actually forgive: the more you let go, the more free you yourself become. The more you hold on to your own feelings of anger and hate, the more you give continue to give power to the person who mistreated you.
"Letting go" doesn't mean forgetting, or pretending that something never happened.

[C.J.W.]

I always want to punch one of my elementary school teacher on his face. One day I heard that he had passed away, I regret that I didn't punch him when he was still alive.

Why do I hate that elementary teacher so much? When I was in my 3rd grade in Taiwan, one day I got into a fight with my classmate. The teacher hit that boy once, he then hit me 6 times. The teacher asked me whether if I understood why. I said that I didn't. He said, "Because you are a pig". Back then Taiwanese would call a Chinese who immigrated from China to Taiwan as "pig". All my kid life was the history of "pig fought back against human's racism behavior.

Old Chinese saying said, "It's OK to wait for 3 years to execute your revenge". I assume I have waited too long.

Do you have similar experience?

My aunt, who's in the same generation as you are, also got called an "outside-of-province pig" 外省豬 by a Taiwanese teacher when she was in elementary school.

She got her revenge by beating up the teacher's youngest son who also went to the same school, which I thought was absolutely genius and hilarious!

[johnwang]

My aunt, who's in the same generation as you are, also got called an "outside-of-province pig" 外省豬 by a Taiwanese teacher when she was in elementary school.

She got her revenge by beating up the teacher's youngest son who also went to the same school, which I thought was absolutely genius and hilarious!

When I was 7, onetime I fought against several Taiwanese kids. I picked a rock and threw at a Taiwanese kid. My rock hit right on his forehead. Blood came down from his forehead. I hided myself in a neighbor's house while that kid's father went to complain to my father. After that, those kids knew that I did fight back. They didn't bother me any more in my neighborhood. When I went home and told my father that several kids tried to beat me up. My father was quite happy to know that I fought back. That was the year that I just started to learn Taiji from a monk (my father's friend). My Taiji didn't help me much in those fight.

[Overlord]

I always want to punch one of my elementary school teacher on his face. One day I heard that he had passed away, I regret that I didn't punch him when he was still alive.

Why do I hate that elementary teacher so much? When I was in my 3rd grade in Taiwan, one day I got into a fight with my classmate. The teacher hit that boy once, he then hit me 6 times. The teacher asked me whether if I understood why. I said that I didn't. He said, "Because you are a pig". Back then Taiwanese would call a Chinese who immigrated from China to Taiwan as "pig". All my kid life was the history of "pig fought back against human's racism behavior.

Old Chinese saying said, "It's OK to wait for 3 years to execute your revenge". I assume I have waited too long.

Do you have similar experience?

Thanks John,
You remind me something I should be doing.
On the contrary to your experience, mine is opposite, I was a Taiwanese being bullied by my Chinese teacher.
I guess it’s never too late when they are alive.
However, I am not sure of beating up a granny will be my approach.

[suckinlhbf]

Drink Tea Eat Bread lar. An eye to an eye never ends.

I regret a lot on what I have done. Much more than what I didn't do.