What is your opinion on this? (pressure to fight)

[Juan]

Hi guys,

This week I've been going through some stress at my MT gym. One of the guys that was supposed to fight in a full amateur fight has gone MIA and my trainer asked me to step in for him. My trainer has actually ben pressuring me to go amateur since my last fight in January. For one thing it is really an honor that my trainer thinks so highly of me to want me to continue to fight, on the other hand I'm not sure how to feel about the pressure he is putting on me.

Back to the current situation...as I said my trainer asked me this Wednesday to step up and fight my first amateur fight in place of our MIA fighter. I don't know how to feel about this...he knows I've only had one exhibition match and he is asking me to fight an amateur with 3 days of training. Plus I am barely getting over my injured akle that prevented me from fighting 2 weeks ago. He knows I was injured, he was there when I injured it. What's more I would be fighting someone who is younger, probably has more fights, and has been training properly for the fight. I told him that I couldn't do it. But he kept on insisting. To get him off my back I told him I would talk to my wife about it and get back to him. So the same night I talk it over with my wife and she says no way. I email my other trainer and explain why I can't take the fight and he is cool about it. Yesterday, after coming home from my son's welcome dinner to his soon to be high school I get a call from the trainer I emailed saying that my main trainer wants me to take the fight. I again politely say no and explain why I can't/shouldn't take the fight.

It sucks because now I don't even want to go to class. Saturday I'm going to go to the gym while it's open gym time and work out on my own just to avoid my trainer and that is a really shitty feeling. I mean I absolutely LOVE Muay Thai and want to/plan on continuing to fight but when I feel I am ready to step in the ring. I don't want to go into a fight unprepared just to get KTFO to please a promoter who can give less than a fuck about me and to please my trainer who is trying to please the promoter.

What do you guys think? Am I wrong in not taking the fight? Am I being a pussy? How do I handle the continued pressure to fight? I told my trainer that I could probably make my amateur debute this summer when I have more time to train but every time I step in the gym I hear "Juan, you fight amateur next time." I love the my Kru/trainer (not in a homo way) but it's getting to be a little much. I think the pressure is what caused the guy who was supposed to fight Sat. to go MIA.

[Dmitri]

Sit down and tell him exactly how you feel, don't hold anything back.
If he's a decent person and good teacher, he will understand and will either help you make the transition or lay off, in either case it shouldn't be too hard to work out.
If he's neither, then the problem might escalate and maybe even turn ugly, but personally I would rather deal with that than be where you're at right now.
Communication (completely open, straightforward, detailed and sincere) is the key IMO.

[qiphlow]

I don't want to go into a fight unprepared just to get KTFO to please a promoter who can give less than a fuck about me and to please my trainer who is trying to please the promoter.

exactly. are you in the ring for fun, or are you trying to make a career out of it? if it's the former, there is no point to fighting half injured. you have to be the final authority when it comes to your body and it's health.

[DeusTrismegistus]

Sit down and tell him exactly how you feel, don't hold anything back.
If he's a decent person and good teacher, he will understand and will either help you make the transition or lay off, in either case it shouldn't be too hard to work out.
If he's neither, then the problem might escalate and maybe even turn ugly, but personally I would rather deal with that than be where you're at right now.
Communication (completely open, straightforward, detailed and sincere) is the key IMO.

QFT

Beer might help as well.

[neijia_boxer]

I think its cool your teacher asked you to fight. My teacher doesnt take me seriously enough since i am older and work a full time job. I really wish he put the time and effort he put it for the young guns than he does the older dudes.

As for injury- you gotta let it heal fully or it will come back to bite you. also dont take a fight on short notice if you dont feel prepared, be sure you fight a person with similar experience. dont start MT events when your 0-0 with a guy who is like 4-1 ect.

[Juan]

Dmitri,
I believe my Kru is a really good person. He is well liked by everyone. However, I believe he is also under constant pressure from promoters to produce fighters for the fights. I think that is were the issue lies. I've expressed an interest in fighting and fortunately my skill level has increased dramatically so I've been put on the list of fighters. I as you said want to make a gradual transition, not get thrown to the lions as I've seen it happen so often in my year and a half at the gym.

qiphlow,
Not trying to make a carrer out of it, especially since I'm at the age were most fighters are considering retiring rather than starting. I just want the experience and the fun that comes with it. However, I think more is expected from me, which again is really an honor, but am not sure what to do with it.

[Juan]

I think its cool your teacher asked you to fight. My teacher doesnt take me seriously enough since i am older and work a full time job. I really wish he put the time and effort he put it for the young guns than he does the older dudes.

As for injury- you gotta let it heal fully or it will come back to bite you. also dont take a fight on short notice if you dont feel prepared, be sure you fight a person with similar experience. dont start MT events when your 0-0 with a guy who is like 4-1 ect.

Hey neija,

Yeah, I feel totally honored that he thinks of me so highly. One person told me that she was talking to our Kru about me and he kept pointing to his hear and saying "Juan has heart." That is really awesome. At the same time, I wish that he would take into consideration that I do work a full time job and that I'm not a kid anymore. I agree that they should start me off with someone with my experience but here in souther Cali it never works out that way. Everyone that fights always claim that it's their first fight unless they are already established. Shit happened to one of our girls a couple o months back. She got KOed in the first round because she fought a girl who stated this was to be her first amateur as well. Shit, turns out that the girl was a golden gloves champ and had something like 30 fights under her belt. Total BS. That's why I want to get more experience before going full amateur, because I know I'm not going to be facing some at my level.

[I am...]

Juan,

For background: I fought and trained heavily in San Shou and San Da for about 6 years, and still train others, as well as fight on occasion.

Remember that your body is a finite resource, and that you are the one that would be getting in their and putting your body on the line, not your trainer. It is always a good idea for the fighter to take some responsibility for their well being, since others may not always do so. One bad loss early in your career could potentially cause a lot of change to your long term training/desire to train. It is also pretty common to go into fights injured, if you are training hard as well, but again you need to weigh the potential damage against the positives you feel you stand to gain from doing what they requested.

On the other side of the coin, weigh why you are at the gym you are at as well. If that gym makes a living off of training fighters that take fights, you may need to reassess why you are there if not to do just that. If you want to drop the rest of the priorities in life and commit to training heavily, consistently, then that type of a gym is where you should be. If not, be honest with yourself and where you are at in life right now, and go somewhere that matches and expects what you are willing to give. If your gym is not making its money off of fights, then you should think about assessing why your teacher is not acting with your best interests at heart, if that seems to be the case.

In short, that is just my $.02, and I feel for you, hang in there

[cerebus]

Juan, if your injury hasn't fully healed and you do not feel like you've been able to prepare properly, DO NOT take the fight. That would just be throwing yourself into a bad situation man...

[JessOBrien]

Amateur is a big commitment, and a huge jump in the level of competition. I think you've looked at it intelligently. It's a bummer that your trainer is pushing like this, it does seem likely that he's just trying to fill the slot, rather than looking out for your development. For a lot of fighters raised in Thailand, this is just the way it's supposed to work. Some vicious KO's at the start of your career are normal and to be expected. But for us guys with day jobs, we have a different reality that they may not quite get due to their upbringing in the fight world. To them it's about survival, for us it's a hobby. So you have to stick to your guns and your gut on this. Amateur level competition is a big deal, and worth taking the time to feel right about. Health and safety is what comes first. Because if you get injured then you'll be even more severely beaten by your wife, and there's no greater pain...

Jess O

[Darthwing Teorist]

Jeice had some experience with some trainer at a boxing gym.

Don't fight if you don't feel ready. It can be dangerous. It is not even a good psychological test for Da Street, where the fight just comes to you, with little or no advance notice.

[Chris McKinley]

Juan,

You've been given some great advice here. Sometimes life presents us with some hard choices where we are forced to choose between something we really want and maintaining our principles. You already shared the insight into what's really taking place here with your main trainer and the commercial pressure he's under. You also know that your health is more important than any martial arts training opportunity. If he's forcing you to choose between them, go ahead and feel bad about it, regret it, cry over it, whine like a bitch, or whatever else you feel like you have to do, but kick his ass to the curb. No trainer worth his/her salt would ever force you to make that choice, and if he is, he's been compromised, however tragic that might be.

P.S. No, you're not a pussy....it's a fake fight. Nobody's life is at stake, you're not the last hope for stopping something tragic from happening, this isn't an episode of 24. It's fake fighting...if you can't do it and still keep your health as well as keep it fun, do something else. It's that simple.

[Juan]

*warning lots of rambling to follow*

Thank you guys for the input. I hope that I did not paint a bad picture of my trainer because he is truly a nice guy and fantastic teacher. Just venting about my situation. I'm definitely not taking the fight but I don't know if that's going to cause any stress in my relationship with him. I hope not, but Saturday I am just gonna go to the open gym time so I can avoid the subject and see how it goes in Monday's class.

The thing about being officially considered for fighting is that the training you get is out of this world. In the last 6 months I've learned so much and my skill set had jumped dramatically. Our boxing coach has been working with me, my trainer has been working with me and I've even been asked to coach some of the new guys on technique. You get alot of specialized training if you're in the "fighter's stable" so to speak that I am afraid I will lose if I don't put up soon. As I type this I kind of see it as a fair trade since they are putting so much effort into making me better, but I don't know. I'm kind of mixed up right now. It's a weird kind of stress. It's a stress that I'm kind of glad to be going through because there are other people that would love to be in my situation. But then it makes me kinda depressed because I think that maybe I should step down my role a bit and let another youngbuck with more time on his hands have his shot. I kinda feel selfish that I am taking this spot where alot of effort is going into me and maybe my gym is not getting that pay off. But if I wasn't getting all that attention then I wouldn't be where I am right now in terms of skill. And I definitely plan on fighting, just wish it was on my own time. I don't know, maybe I'm making too much out of it and Monday my trainer won't even give it a second thought. This is so weird.

But, thanks again guys for the input and words of encouragement. Mostly, thanks for listening. It's funny because the person who I usally vent to is the dude that went MIA. He and I are going through the same stress but him more so as he is younger and much better than me so they are constantly asking him to fight. Venting helps in a situation like this.

[DeusTrismegistus]

Well another angle may help.

Perhaps your trainer thinks you have been progressing really well and that the fight is within your skill. He may think that taking the fight is in your best interest toward developing as a fighter.

Just another idea.

[Juan]

Well another angle may help.

Perhaps your trainer thinks you have been progressing really well and that the fight is within your skill. He may think that taking the fight is in your best interest toward developing as a fighter.

Just another idea.

This is true.

He did tell me that the guy I was supposed to fight before I got injured would have been an easy win for me. I'm supposed to have a "re-match" with him some time in the summer. But even if the fight is within my skill set my cardio is not there. I haven't seriously ran since I twisted my ankle. I've been jogging a bit but not running like I normally would for a fight.