Changes in the Workplace

[DeusTrismegistus]

CHANGES IN THE WORKPLACE

You small business owners out there are preparing for life under a Barack Obama presidency. One of our listeners sent us some new rules for small businesses based on Obama's ideals of change and fairness:

As of November 5, 2008, when President Obama officially becomes president-elect, our company will instill a few new policies which are in keeping with his new, inspiring issues of change and fairness:

1. All salespeople will be pooling their sales and bonuses into a common pool that will be divided equally between all of you. This will serve to give those of you who are under-achieving a "fair shake".

2. All low level workers will be pooling their wages, including overtime, into a common pool, dividing it equally amongst you. This will help those who are "too busy for overtime" to reap the rewards from those who have more spare time and can work extra hours.

3. All top management will now be referred to as "the government." We will not participate in this "pooling" experience because the law doesn't apply to us.

4. The "government" will give eloquent speeches to all employees every week, encouraging its workers to continue to work hard "for the good of all".

5. The employees will be thrilled with these new policies because it's "good to spread the wealth around". Those of you who have underachieved will finally get an opportunity; those of you who have worked hard and had success will feel more "patriotic".

6. The last few people who were hired should clean out their desks. Don't feel bad, though, because President Obama will give you free healthcare, free handouts, free oil for heating your home, free food stamps, and he'll let you stay in your home for as long as you want even if you can't pay your mortgage. If you appeal directly to our democratic congress, you might even get a free flat screen TV and a coupon for free haircuts (shouldn't all Americans be entitled to nice looking hair?)!!!

If for any reason you are not happy with the new policies, you may want to rethink your vote on November 4th.

[Teazer]

It's kinda funny. All this scare tactics about what would happen with a Democratic president. Reminds me exactly of the Conservatives in England after Thatcher & Major saying how it'd be the 70's all over again with 99% taxation and lots of free money for do-nothing social scroungers. Then, of course, Tony Blair showed up & people discovered the labour party had already become pretty much the conservative party of old. Same with Clinton. Hardly a radical reallocation of wealth to the poor during that time period was there?

"plus ca change..." as they say.
Still, there's a lot to be said of not having all 3 of the house, senate & presidency controlled by the same party.

[Royal Dragon]

I say vote for Socialism, Communism and all that is fair. who cares if it has been an utter failure everywhere it has been tried in the past. We don't need the Unites states of America anyway. We don't need rights, Free Speech, or Private property. We don't need to protect babies or keep our money.

[qiphlow]

i wonder what would happen if they fired up the large hadron collider at the exact same time as the election results were known?

[Bär]

The pubs would still rig the election.

[Darthwing Teorist]

I say vote for Socialism, Communism and all that is fair. who cares if it has been an utter failure everywhere it has been tried in the past. We don't need the Unites states of America anyway. We don't need rights, Free Speech, or Private property. We don't need to protect babies or keep our money.

You know, I heard that if you vote for Obama, he will raise Stalin and Mao from the dead and then put them at his right and left hand. He will merge the Army, the Homeland Security and IRS in a new mega-agency, SANTA. SANTA will pay a personal visit to every red blooded American citizen, about a week before the end of the year, and take away half of their possessions. Then, he will replace Thanksgiving with a pagan holiday, in which everybody is fed babies at their workplace.

After all this is done, he will do the unthinkable and install free healthcare. Except for the babies.

[mixjourneyman]

The pubs would still rig the election.

As my friend Noah once said in a battle rhyme: "your rhymes don't push. You could only beat me if you cheat like George Bush"- Noah 23

[C-Hopkins]

I'm amazed at how many people can predict the future.

You guys should start a psychic hotline.

[C-Hopkins]

I say vote for Socialism, Communism and all that is fair. who cares if it has been an utter failure everywhere it has been tried in the past. We don't need the Unites states of America anyway. We don't need rights, Free Speech, or Private property. We don't need to protect babies or keep our money.

You know, I heard that if you vote for Obama, he will raise Stalin and Mao from the dead and then put them at his right and left hand. He will merge the Army, the Homeland Security and IRS in a new mega-agency, SANTA. SANTA will pay a personal visit to every red blooded American citizen, about a week before the end of the year, and take away half of their possessions. Then, he will replace Thanksgiving with a pagan holiday, in which everybody is fed babies at their workplace.

After all this is done, he will do the unthinkable and install free healthcare. Except for the babies.

I have a question-

If the United states, Mexico and Canada will have the Amero as currency, and The EU has the Euro,

Would the African Union use the Afro?

I digress.

[Steve James]

Alas, those who call Obama a socialist and a fascist don't know left from right. Obama is certainly not leftwing; there is actually a Socialist ticket (Moore/Alexander), and there seem to be very few Dems or Reps who are voting for them.

O's only far left to those of the far right (not conservatives) who pretend to represent the middle.