awkward moment when teaching English

[chenyaolong]

I've been teaching this 10 yr old kid English, and the mum likes to sit in and sometimes participate in the lessons, so last week out of nowhere the mum asks me "what exactly does fuck mean, does it mean like sexual intercourse?" I hesitated, then replied that it does and tried to move on. After a moment she continued "can I say like this - I'm so tired because I've done too much fucking?".... I said that you can, and again tried to move on. So then the kid says "hey, mum, you need to stop doing so much fucking!"
So in this weeks class the kid said to him mum "you don't have any testicles!", to which the mum said "of course I don't, I have a vagina" to which the kid replied "mum, you should stop having sex with cows and pigs!"
BTW, all of this dialogue took place in English, so I suppose I should applaud their mastery of the language.

[grzegorz]

That's awesome!

Did you manage to keep a straight face?

[Michael]

I think you got some mad laowai guanxi with your student's mum.

[chenyaolong]

That video has to be the most accurate depiction of life as an English teacher I've ever seen.

[Michael]

That video has to be the most accurate depiction of life as an English teacher I've ever seen.

It covers most of the inter-personal bases, but doesn't get into the classroom teaching and dealing with managers part, much less the visa and living arrangements part.

[grzegorz]

Definitely the lame part about ESL is other ESL teachers.

I took my work very seriously, got the CELTA, learned everything about grammar etc...all was well but of course instead of other ESL teachers seeing us as being all in the same boat and enjoying that fact they usually tried to size who the most qualified teacher in the room was.

Then again martial arts isn't that different judging from locked threads. Instead of people thinking hey we all do CMA things usually come down to who can kick who's a**. Then ocassionally you find someone who has an actual life and doesn't care.

[Michael]

.........

[chenyaolong]

sigh - ESL teachers... met all sorts.....

In Seoul I was waiting for the subway when this huge obese Canadian guy came up and started a conversation with me. He started telling me how he was a literature professor and how he had all these super hot female students who would "treat their professor very well in order to pass the course".

Then there's another guy who would get in a temper, swear and storm out the classroom when students made a mistake.

Or the girl who made kids stand in stress positions if they talked in class.

They really should put more checks in place for teachers.... in Yantai I worked in a kindergarten for like 3 years, they never even asked my full name

[Ian]

"I have never had safe sex education so I don't know what you're talking about."

[amor]

sigh - ESL teachers... met all sorts.....

In Seoul I was waiting for the subway when this huge obese Canadian guy came up and started a conversation with me. He started telling me how he was a literature professor and how he had all these super hot female students who would "treat their professor very well in order to pass the course".

I'm amazed at how loose the female chinese learners are but I suppose I shouldn't be surprized considering that face-saving is something that is deeply embedded within their culture. Instead of engaging in tribal death battles they've moved on to offering up some non-safe "extra-curricular" sex education
The female ESL students are definitely hornier than they look in this case then but I refuse to believe that parents (mother's in this case) would also be willing to do the business, for whatever reason, with the non-chinese ESL teachers. I've heard they prefer their own kind but if it is true then they must be pretty sex starved. Perhaps they are divorced or their husbands are overworked and their nerves are all shredded up to satisfy their spouses.
I wonder if non-chinese ESL teachers would be as wililng to get down with the fathers

[chenyaolong]

the woman in my story is divorced..... and I can see why..... poor kid is gonna have some serious issues when he grows up.

For the rich ones... I think it's sometimes a case of the husband is off with the Xiao San (mistress), the wife pretends she doesn't know and spends all her husbands money.

There's serious money to be made from China's nouveau rich, but there's zero job satisfaction..... I'd rather go to some deep rural areas and teach kids for free, where they are gonna really appreciate you, and you can make some difference.... call me an idealist

[Michael]

"I have never had safe sex education so I don't know what you're talking about."

101% accurate. Sort of blows my mind

[Michael]

There's serious money to be made from China's nouveau rich, but there's zero job satisfaction..... I'd rather go to some deep rural areas and teach kids for free, where they are gonna really appreciate you, and you can make some difference.... call me an idealist

Yeah, prolly gotta teach 'em from 7 to 11 y.o., before the testing regimens begin, since preparation for Gao Kao (high school entrance exam) apparently turn all grey matter into dark matter.