the rum soaked fist: internal martial arts forum

yet another classic article. the harpy bit had me in stitches.
http://www.cracked.com/blog/24504-reaso ... urn-books/

"My point is, they’re so open with their saccharine wuvvy duvvy that it feels like you’re walking in on Care Bears fucking."

LOL!

"Scare him to cure him of hiccups"
This is probably a lot easier when you’re a woman-shaped swarm of insects surrounding an enchanted pig’s skull like Dale’s wife.

LOL

my favorite is the harpy one... I was cracking up like 15 mins today, even after I closed the page and was doing work.

Thanks for the generous act of charity, bitch. Seriously, what harpy beasts did this guy date before Cyndi that this would be notable? “Skreee!!! I don’t care if you needed to get up at 7:30! My favorite number is noon! Plus, you know how clock buttons scratch my claws! Agh, look what you made me do! All this spraying stomach acid is ruining my lipstick! Caw!”

889. Reassure him while he
is waiting for test results to
come back from the doctor.

This really seems like basic human politeness rather than an act of love. It’s a little scary that Dale’s wife needs to remind herself to not say, “I bet your diseased-dick urine sample melted through the doctor’s gloves. He’s going to come out here screaming and holding up sizzling nubs that used to be his hands, melted away by your super AIDS. Shit, you make this whole waiting room smell like a herpe. I haven’t had a date this bad since my last boyfriend took me to an STD clinic to dig for cans in the trash.”