This guy cracks me up. Here are some of his "tweets" (if you get a chance you should follow him on tweeter):
-I have a loud system in my car. All I listen to is talk radio. I still bump it
-Me to naked guy in steam room: Sure is small! Him: huh?! Me: Uh, the steam room, I mean
-If I were a pop star I'd be either Glenn Stefani, Jason Timberlake, or Manny Gaga
-People always say "stop and smell the roses" but we never point out that we should "run and avoid the farts."
-Sometimes I forget to rinse soap from my right armpit. It's ok though, I also forget to put deoderant on that side
-At Fight Gone Bad, fundraiser for cancer. Wait, not FOR cancer. I'm not a cancer enabler
-Dreamt that I bought a house in a bad neighborhood that had no lock on the back door- crackheads kept wandering in. Meaning? Besides Im gay