(cracked) the Story of Kazuyuki Fujita's Skull

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(cracked) the Story of Kazuyuki Fujita's Skull

Postby nianfong on Thu Jan 14, 2010 12:15 pm

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Re: (cracked) the Story of Kazuyuki Fujita's Skull

Postby nianfong on Thu Jan 14, 2010 1:36 pm

excerpt:
For three minutes, everything either fighter did resulted in a hard part of Mark Kerr getting smashed into Fujita’s medically impossible head. It looked like an industrial training video on how to turn a human into soup using just one naked man. If I was Fujita’s family, I would have already been ordering a box of gorilla-sized diapers and flash cards so he could relearn all our names. But this face-suicide was all part of Fujita’s plan. After five minutes of savage anaerobic assault, Mark Kerr’s brain and body agreed that it was time to give up. He went fetal and Fujita punched the back of his head for 10 minutes. Which, in back-of-the-head time, is fucking forever. This surprising win led to the invention of the F.ujita F.ight S.ystem which would serve him well throughout his career. Let’s go over the basics:
1. Receive beating until opponent falls asleep.
2. Maul opponent’s unconscious body.
3. Realize that the celebration banana was a trick and that you’ve once again been led into a cage for safe transport.


When creating characters in video games, you often have to make sacrifices. For example, your rogue doesn’t have enough points to learn Mutilate AND Killing Spree. It’s the same thing when scientists create igneous-skulled punching bag monsters. If you spring for Invincible Head, there aren’t enough points left over to put into Agility. Fujita actually has a -65 to Dodge which means cars instinctively swerve into him, and it takes him 10 minutes and a man-shaped hole in the wall to get through a doorway.
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Re: (cracked) the Story of Kazuyuki Fujita's Skull

Postby Bär on Thu Jan 14, 2010 1:50 pm

But Japanese fight promoters still hadn’t gotten a chance to see someone just pound on it until it cracked. Will it explode when you expose its core? Is it filled with something that you can rape with an octopus?
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Re: (cracked) the Story of Kazuyuki Fujita's Skull

Postby jwalker on Fri Jan 15, 2010 10:03 am

This one's a cracker! Hilarious! Sean baby is right about one thing though, Fujita came the closest out of anyone to defeating Fedor. And then Fedor choked him like a dog.

And yeah Fujita's fight with Wanderlei is for some reason one of my favourites, I guess cause I thought Wand had a chance at winning the Open Weight Grand Prix (how naieve was I back in '06) and that thought made me happy.

On the Wanderlei fight:
Half the arena was crying since they thought they were watching one ape administer the death penalty to another and the other half was dead from shock waves.


LOL
Last edited by jwalker on Fri Jan 15, 2010 10:14 am, edited 2 times in total.
"It is statisticly possible to attack someone with your machete." - John Wang
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