how many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
two: one to get the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly coloured machine tools
how many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Silly boy, people don't fit in lightbulbs.
and one from a California friend:
how many people from Marin county does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
silly, people from Marin county screw in hot tubs...
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lightbulb jokes
9 posts • Page 1 of 1
lightbulb jokes
by mixjourneyman on Tue Mar 02, 2010 5:19 pm
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Re: lightbulb jokes
by Doc Stier on Tue Mar 02, 2010 5:31 pm
Why does it require two women with PMS to change a light bulb?
IT JUST DOES! DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT!
IT JUST DOES! DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT!
"First in the Mind and then in the Body."
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Re: lightbulb jokes
by Michael on Tue Mar 02, 2010 5:33 pm
How many martial artists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Fifty. One to do it, and 49 others to each observe and say in a patronizing fashion, "I guess that works okay, but in my style we do it this way..."
Fifty. One to do it, and 49 others to each observe and say in a patronizing fashion, "I guess that works okay, but in my style we do it this way..."
- Michael
Re: lightbulb jokes
by Darth Rock&Roll on Tue Mar 02, 2010 5:38 pm
Q: How many jewish grandmothers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None, I'll just sit here. In the dark.
Q: How many buddhists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 100. 1 to do it and the other 99 contemplate the effort.
as an aside, buddhist tend to make good electricians because they understand their Watts and Oms.
A: None, I'll just sit here. In the dark.
Q: How many buddhists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 100. 1 to do it and the other 99 contemplate the effort.
as an aside, buddhist tend to make good electricians because they understand their Watts and Oms.
Coconuts. Bananas. Mangos. Rice. Beans. Water. It's good.
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Re: lightbulb jokes
by Iskendar on Wed Mar 03, 2010 3:29 am
How many lead singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Lead singers don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in the back of the van.
How many bass players does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, the keyboard player can do it with his left hand.
Lead singers don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in the back of the van.
How many bass players does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, the keyboard player can do it with his left hand.
I.
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Re: lightbulb jokes
by RobP2 on Wed Mar 03, 2010 3:58 am
Iskendar wrote:How many bass players does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, the keyboard player can do it with his left hand.
You beat me to it
How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
None: they have a machine to do that now.
How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None of your damn business!
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
One but the light bulb has to want to change
Last edited by RobP2 on Wed Mar 03, 2010 4:00 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: lightbulb jokes
by Darthwing Teorist on Wed Mar 03, 2010 6:19 am
(Romanian police joke)
How many policemen does it take to screw in a lightbulb:
- 6: one to hold the lightbulb, 4 to turn the stool he is standing on and another one to look outside the door and warn the others when the electricity is coming back.
How many policemen does it take to screw in a lightbulb:
- 6: one to hold the lightbulb, 4 to turn the stool he is standing on and another one to look outside the door and warn the others when the electricity is coming back.
И ам тхе террор тхат флапс ин тхе нигхт! И ам тхе црамп тхат руинс ёур форм! И ам...
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Re: lightbulb jokes
by PatrickH on Wed Mar 03, 2010 7:16 am
How many Zen Buddhists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Three.
One to screw it in, and one not to screw it in.
Three.
One to screw it in, and one not to screw it in.
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Re: lightbulb jokes
by Dmitri on Wed Mar 03, 2010 7:24 am
Darthwing Teorist wrote:(Romanian police joke)
How many policemen does it take to screw in a lightbulb:
- 6: one to hold the lightbulb, 4 to turn the stool he is standing on and another one to look outside the door and warn the others when the electricity is coming back.
I never remember jokes, but this reminded me of a Soviet military variation on that: one to hold the bulb, 4 (or however many, don't remember) to turn the stool, and one more to walk around everyone in a circle, in the opposite direction, so that the guy holding the bulb wouldn't get dizzy.
(Hey, it was funny 25 years ago, OK?!
)Last edited by Dmitri on Wed Mar 03, 2010 7:26 am, edited 1 time in total.
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