the rum soaked fist: internal martial arts forum

Gents:

You will be thanking me for this for years (possibly decades) to come.

These are the funniest damn martial arts/martial artists I have ever seen - just ensure sure you empty your bladder before you click play, we would not want any accidents.

EVERYTHING about it is gut-splitting:
The format! (Hit the mystical muzak - and everyone does their TaiChee dance thang round the flags);
The practitioners! (All shapes and sizes - from emaciated to obese);
The facial expressions! (They appear to be taking this farce seriously);
And - not least - the suits, the accessories and the hair! (Forget Master Klein's nutcrackers: With this lot, I'm lost for words...FFS.)

Gents, choose your favorite "The Qi is Strong In This One" master or instructor and we''ll hold a vote!

My choice? I love the guy in the front with the long sequined dress, the Flynnish 'tache, the dashing quiffe and what looks like a faux jade necklace. He is prancing around doing Chen Taiji (he does one move on the wrong side, so quickly and unobtrusively corrects himself) and Bagua (I love how he runs rings around the other appallingly dressed guy, and at the end - just as the muzak is reaching its mighty climax - you can see he simply HAS to finish with a final flourish/spin).

BTW, if anyone in this demo is a member of RSF (Could the guy with the 'tache be a youthful McKinley?), identify yourself at once, sir!

Weapons


NOTE TO MARTIAL ARTS TAILORS IN THE US
Some of you have a warped fucking sense of humour. I very strongly suggest you conduct yourself with a little more professionalism in future: If an American TaiChee Master comes to you asking for a "Grandmaster Kung Fu Super Suit for a Demonstration," kindly DON'T sell him a mandarin waistcoasts, silk wedding pajamas, 19th century britches or anything with garish polka dots. Thank you.

Final thought:
If these guys are "masters and instructors," ....what must their students look like?
And (horrible thought) what do they wear?

Fucking hell! Links did not paste! Here they come again!

Shag me! They are still at it! Deligthed to see that my man with the tache and quiffe has not changed his tailor, thoug this time I have to vote for the old fart in white PJs with the money belt. I like that an old guy in jeans and baseball cap seems to have strolled in off the street, this time.

The MA seems to be of a slightly higher standard this time round, so not QUITE as silly as the last ones, though the bloke in the Taoist wizard suit and white beard (back row) looks like he is good for a giggle.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/user/stvnwy246#p/u/11/Bi_f3CvJiTA[/youtube]

Its a miracle nobody was seriously hurt in the weapons demo.

looks a bit like this really -

Far Far Away in teh Land of Make Believe, where unicorns, live, and monkey's fly on clouds......blah blah blah...

2 damage 2 damage!!!

LOL that was stunning (as in WTF?)

It figures that Moy Lin Shin's fantasy troupe would be involved (first clip on the right).

Mr. StacheQuiff is really into costumes - he changed for the weapons demo. He appears see himself as the leader (possibly "choreographer"?) of this ragtag performance; he also appears to be an attention whore.

I guess with this crowd, walking circles around someone is a form of dominance? The guy who Mr. StacheQuiff walked circles around in the first clip seems to have felt the need to get his mojo back by doing the same thing to some poor chap in the back row during the Jazz weapons dance afterwards.

Anyway, my vote goes to the overweight black dude with the 3-section staff. Superb.

Woa. That shite is worth a golden Zardoz award in my book!

Reminded me of one of those "reenactments" some people enjoy doing...



Well, ya know what -- as long as nobody gets hurt, it's better than sitting at the computer and playing videogames.

i really need to stick some flags in the background where i practice

i could rock a shiny gold vest...

New checklist for MA demos:
(1) Several chaps with polka dot, sequined, loose-sleeved, wizard-robe faux silk jim-jams;
(2) At least one chap with Hoff-style 'tache and '80s hair;
(3) At least one porky fellow (just so pie-eaters know that they, too, can soar in MA);
(4) At least one Stetson, and preferably a guy in John Lennons;
(5) Epic, mystical muzak;
(6) Free-for-all "Prance Down" as the centerpiece.

Shit, this could be CMA's answer to the MMA explosion.

Instead of having two guys fight to the KO, why not have a dozen guys prancing around with ancient Chinese weapons - then all freezing on cue?

Or perhaps we could merge the two genres: When the prancers are all in their "freeze" stage, a UFC champ charges in, blindfolded, and sees how many he can chin in, say, 10 seconds.

This is why i stopped taking mushrooms!...and the reason why i started taking them in the first place...so many bright colours and moving shapes!

Andy_S wrote:Or perhaps we could merge the two genres: When the prancers are all in their "freeze" stage, a UFC champ charges in, blindfolded, and sees how many he can chin in, say, 10 seconds.

like that old game show where you had to see how much cash you could grab while locked in a booth?

AllanF wrote:...so many bright colours and moving shapes!

her her her her