for Mo

The following typical threads that plague martial arts sites will get moved here if not just deleted: 1 - My style is better than Your style" - 2 - "Internal & External" - 3 - Personal attacks - 4 - Threads that start well, but degenerate into a spiral of nonsense.

for Mo

Postby Dmitri on Thu Sep 01, 2011 12:09 pm

Sorry to do this Tom, but I've spent some time typing this response only to fail to post as the lock was placed, and I would hate for that typing time to have been COMPLETELY wasted :P, so here's the response to that last post on the recently-locked thread:

Tiebian wrote:you as well have not the courage to address directly what bothers you, yet want to post it here.

I did address it quite directly, in my first post on this thread (first page).

since joining THIS forum, yet YOU are responding to the present reasonableness with emotion based on your perception of the past.

...and then again, later on:
this site, which I have never been a member of

That's pretty funny... You're acting like this is some brand new forum with no ties to anything and you're just a brand new member and I'm bringing up some weird distant past that has little or nothing to do with "THIS" forum. Yeah right.

negative antagonistic stupid political vitriol

Even funnier... These are some strong words. Find me ANYTHING in my post that actually "accuses" you of anything or is qualified as "stupid political vitriol". The past is the past and older members know what I was talking about (and the newer ones don't need to) and I wanted THEM (the old ones) to hear what I think about this. With or without Your Majesty's permission or agreement. ::)

could have PM'd me as I offered, but no one has and that is on you

Funnier yet... I've no idea how the hell is the fact that no one so far has contacted you in PM is "on me". :D

issue you feel is black and white and simple that you are only slightly informed about

You have absolutely no idea about my level of being informed about it; I'll just leave it at that.

I [...] have more facts that reveal it to be quite complicated and not cut and dried [...] a complicated and compounded situation. This, is also a form of maturity; accepting that events really are as complicated as they are, even if what you want is a simple answer. If you cannot deal with that level of honesty, that is just going to be your issue.

Nope, "maturity" and "honesty" would be to openly talk about it. Yes, IN PUBLIC (e.g. in BTDT).

that is a lie [...] you ... do not have either the decency or the courage

Now there's maturity, decency and courage. Well done!

It's a fear of direct engagement.

Nah, you wish. It's more like not wanting to step into a pile of shit... (Although I guess technically you might call that "fear", I'll give you that. :D)

Nothing to discuss... ::)

Yes, I had NOTHING to discuss, like I said I was making a statement, not initiating a discussion. But, naturally, you threw some personal attacks to draw me out anyway. I should have known better.
Last edited by Dmitri on Thu Sep 01, 2011 12:18 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Re: for Mo

Postby Bill on Thu Sep 01, 2011 12:26 pm

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Re: for Mo

Postby Tiebian on Thu Sep 01, 2011 12:27 pm

Person: you are very upset, and clearly have many unsettling feelings about something that happened years ago that you know your side of and are sure you are right. Amongst all the protestations of not 'giving a crap' and having 'nothing to discuss' you have given more crap and discussed more on this subject than anyone else on this forum since my arrival.

If you have something you want to ask or resolve, feel free to go ahead and address that.
Your insistence on making this public however, IS an act of fear, fear of having to deal with me on your own instead of making it a group effort to put one person on trail and have the peer support you feel you need. If you had courage and maturity you could simply directly discuss what bothers you on your own.

Public airing of such history will only draw others into it who really don't want to be drawn back into it, and create an overall negative atmosphere. While you may thrive in a negative atmosphere, I have no interest in being party to its cultivation. If you have, then enjoy your creation of it without me.

If for any reason, you are unable to handle or or arrange any direct communication on your part, then you can simply live with being upset and believing you are 'right' and deserving of amends. Believing you have the moral high ground and the courage of a lion when you are not able to address an issue on your own can feel very powerful.

If you ever grow a pair and get past 'knowing' you are absolutely right that the world is black and white perhaps you will work this out. I don't have endless patience either though, and I won't extend that invitation forever, nor accommodate mindless conflict, even in private.

You will not get your wish of a public trail, nor will I bother with you further if you cannot get some mature objectivity to work with.
Tiebian

 

Re: for Mo

Postby Dmitri on Thu Sep 01, 2011 12:49 pm

Tiebian wrote:fear of having to deal with me on your own

I asked a few years ago if you wanted to meet in person, and you said you "weren't interested", so there was/is my cue on your "courage" and dealing with things "on your own" -- it seems to only work when it's online, which to me is an important factor indicative of certain key things into which I will not go. That's fine, everyone's different -- but don't tell me that I'm scared to "deal with you on my own", I assure you that is most certainly NOT the case, no matter how much you insist and seem to wish that it was.

Believing you have the moral high ground and the courage of a lion when you are not able to address an issue on your own can feel very powerful.

I'm sure you know all about that.

I won't extend that invitation forever

Perhaps you missed the "I don't give a crap" part.
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Re: for Mo

Postby gzregorz on Thu Sep 01, 2011 1:01 pm

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Re: for Mo

Postby GrahamB on Thu Sep 01, 2011 1:04 pm

Guys! This is like old times! Can I join in? -toast-
One does not simply post on RSF.
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Re: for Mo

Postby Bill on Thu Sep 01, 2011 1:15 pm

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Re: for Mo

Postby gzregorz on Thu Sep 01, 2011 1:22 pm

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Re: for Mo

Postby Bill on Thu Sep 01, 2011 1:25 pm

Are those Dong Hai Chuans balls hanging from that tree?
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Re: for Mo

Postby nianfong on Thu Sep 01, 2011 3:24 pm

buddhist monkey looks really pissed off--not like a typical buddhist haha.

Guys, please just get this out of your system. hate solves nothing. everybody (except the yak) deserves a second chance.

-Fong
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Re: for Mo

Postby Dmitri on Thu Sep 01, 2011 3:43 pm

Alright cool, maybe it's my period or something, and even though I don't get those often, they do happen... For the record, I never suggested or even implied that he didn't deserve "the second chance", but he's been acting like nothing happened and saying referring to this forum like it has nothing whatsoever to do with the past (i.e. he doesn't seem to consider it as any type of "second chance" -- just another guy joining another forum), and most people's reactions surprised me, so when Yusuf posted that I had to get it out of my system. I'm most certainly done with it now, even if he (Mo) goes off with his attacks again. It's not "hate", it's "generally/mildly yucky" and "annoyed" feelings, but hate is BY FAR too strong a word for how I feel about it.

OK I'm off the shrink's sofa now.


Hey, look at the bright side of all this -- GRAHAM IS BACK!!! :)
Last edited by Dmitri on Thu Sep 01, 2011 3:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: for Mo

Postby Tiebian on Thu Sep 01, 2011 4:38 pm

No one attacked you.
You attacked someone, someone responded. A little honesty/sanity (chose one) goes a long long way.
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Re: for Mo

Postby nianfong on Thu Sep 01, 2011 4:56 pm

Understood, and for the record:

Mo, we are and always have been the eF forum. The Yak's forum is an honorless piece of shit monstrosity that stole our name. But I don't go around spouting my opinion or stance about that all the time, since it is not something I would start a conversation to spout about. That's my opinion, but I don't dwell on it. As a forum, we (for the most part) have moved forward, but there will still be those who have a problem with you and other primary "instigators" of the schism.

So I'd encourage you to not mention that other forum, or offhand remarks referring to it or the schism. Allow the status quo to exist just as mainland china and taiwan exist. You clearly didn't move on completely, as you claim, so don't blame Dmitri and others for not as well. But I hope you can move on as you have stated you have, and we can all move forward promoting and sharing the arts and skills we love so much. The old wounds can only be healed when we all remember how much more we actually have in common from our common interests.

-Fong
Last edited by nianfong on Thu Sep 01, 2011 5:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: for Mo

Postby Dmitri on Thu Sep 01, 2011 5:00 pm

Tiebian wrote:A little honesty/sanity (chose one) goes a long long way.

There you go again man... Wow. You don't even see it, do you.

That's OK though.

Peace
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Re: for Mo

Postby nianfong on Thu Sep 01, 2011 5:08 pm

Tiebian wrote:Person: you are very upset, and clearly have many unsettling feelings about something that happened years ago that you know your side of and are sure you are right. Amongst all the protestations of not 'giving a crap' and having 'nothing to discuss' you have given more crap and discussed more on this subject than anyone else on this forum since my arrival.

If you have something you want to ask or resolve, feel free to go ahead and address that.
Your insistence on making this public however, IS an act of fear, fear of having to deal with me on your own instead of making it a group effort to put one person on trail and have the peer support you feel you need. If you had courage and maturity you could simply directly discuss what bothers you on your own.

Public airing of such history will only draw others into it who really don't want to be drawn back into it, and create an overall negative atmosphere. While you may thrive in a negative atmosphere, I have no interest in being party to its cultivation. If you have, then enjoy your creation of it without me.

If for any reason, you are unable to handle or or arrange any direct communication on your part, then you can simply live with being upset and believing you are 'right' and deserving of amends. Believing you have the moral high ground and the courage of a lion when you are not able to address an issue on your own can feel very powerful.

If you ever grow a pair and get past 'knowing' you are absolutely right that the world is black and white perhaps you will work this out. I don't have endless patience either though, and I won't extend that invitation forever, nor accommodate mindless conflict, even in private.

You will not get your wish of a public trail, nor will I bother with you further if you cannot get some mature objectivity to work with.


Mo, just apologize and move on.

Even if you don't think you did anything wrong, you have clearly hurt Dmitri's feelings with your remarks. Your statements are rejecting statements of FACT that Dmitri feels he has been wronged by you. Those are FACTS. Facts are undeniable. You are declaring the fact that he has opinions invalid, when in fact they are as valid as your own. That is arrogance.

Remember humility. Acknowledge that you hurt him, apologize, and move on. If you want to improve yourself, dmitri's friendship, and your own public image, you might want to ask him how you can change what you say to prevent the wrong in the future.

-Fong
Last edited by nianfong on Thu Sep 01, 2011 5:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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