re everything is bigger in Texas: A tourist is walking down the street in Houston for the first time and he sees a steak house. He goes in and orders a steak.
The waiter brings him the biggest cut of beef he has ever seen, his eyes bulge, but then he remembers "everything is bigger in Texas".
He eats a quarter of the steak and is full, pays, leaves the restaurant and sees a strip club. He goes inside and the girls have the biggest bosom that he has ever witnessed, he is a bit surprised and then remembers "everything is bigger in Texas".
He gets a little tanked at the bar of the strip club on the biggest mug of beer he has ever seen and then starts on his way back to his hotel.
When he is stumbling into the hotel property he falls in the swimming pool and immediately starts yelling "DON'T FLUSH!!!!"