Training Children

[origami_itto]

My six year old daughter is autistic. She's highly intelligent and communicates well but this is her world and we just live in it. She just doesn't have much concern for the world beyond what she feels is interesting and if she wants to do something she could care less about what you think of it.

For example, she started kindergarten this year. If she gets bored or nervous she will run out the door and take off. And since she considers kindergarten work baby stuff, she gets bored a lot.

They learned how to stop her so she told them if they didn't let her go she was going to pull the fire alarm.

Silly child,They thought. The fire alarm is too high and takes too much strength to pull. A kindergartener could never pull it.

The next day she approached the door, the teacher blocked her. She ran to the fire alarm, jumped up, grabbed it with both hands, and hung off the handle to pull it.

Five minutes to pickup with a full line of parents waiting outside. They had to get all the kids out to the playground, count them, wait for the fire department to turn off the alarm and verify nothing was burning, bring the kids back inside, and start the normal release procedures.

Momma was livid.

She warned them, they learned to start listening to her.

So they give her library time when she's well behaved and they put her in a gifted program with the 2nd graders because there aren't any other k or 1st grade kids functioning at a gifted level.

She taught herself to play chess and we move the pieces around at least.

She's started approaching me about "ninja lessons". I'm constantly stretching and doing taijiquan throughout the day and I guess she rationalized that as I'm a ninja.

If she's interested in something she'll get engrossed in it and really apply herself and do an amazing job. Since she's expressing interest in the martial arts I can't let the opportunity slip past.

So far I've told her that for a warrior to win in battle they must master their opponent, and to master their opponent they must master themselves. I made her promise to only use what she learns to grow stronger and better in order to help protect herself and people that are weaker.

We've worked on basic standing and breathing. Feel the gravity, follow the breath, relax. Bones go up and meat goes down. She followed instructions very well and is excited for more lessons.

Have you taught children? Is there anything you can recommend as I approach this endeavor? Anything I should avoid?

She's asked about a belt but I told her we didn't have those.

[wayne hansen]

I was lucky enough to have a close relationship with a young boy on the spectrum
Have know. Him all his life
He tried Hapkido when young but was asked to leave by the teacher
He was too disruptive
Going back in his teens he got a second degree black belt before going off to uni
He reads books in three languages and is doing a double degree
He reads a book a day and his professor has already guaranteed him a PHD though it’s still 2 years away
Give your daughter all the help u can and enjoy the ride

[everything]

Have only coached kids at sports. No experience with teaching autistic children. Small tidbits to offer. The approach to ninjutsu from the Bujinkan, then made into a curriculum by Stephen Hayes, is quite interesting. It's based on five elements (more like Tibetan five elements: earth, water, fire, wind, "void"/emptiness) for movements, emotional states, "energy", tactics, belt ranks, etc. Some interesting stuff if she would be curious about history and various stories.

[origami_itto]

I was lucky enough to have a close relationship with a young boy on the spectrum

That really is the way I feel about the opportunity be her Daddy. So proud of my little ninja.

[Giles]

Origami, that's so... I don't know... Cool, moving, uplifting, funny, challenging, startling...? Probably all of those, although none really get the essence.
I have a daughter, now older, with whom I have martially played / trained on and off over the years. (In some phases she wasn't interested, but she always came back round to it again). And now she's staying out later in the big city, going to parties (but not yet clubs) and so on, I've insisted on a basic 'self-defence driving licence' over the last year or so.

Just a general observation: Try to be alert for where her interest and fun and sense of exploration goes within the martial package, follow that and let your own skills and knowledge flow into whatever she thinks is cool that moment, that week or whatever. She's the boss, in a way, and you'll be influencing her all the time as you go along with her.

When my daughter was about that age, and we were just playing around, I'd sometimes 'hit/punch' her very very gently but in the tai chi way to kind of shake her a little, on the inside. Don't get me wrong, I mean really gently, like a sort of massage almost. After a few months she did a couple of playful punches on her godfather (a lovely guy who is not a martial artist) when he was sitting next to her and his jaw dropped: the 6-year-old girl wasn't hurting him, but she was shaking him.

Also evasion/releasing techniques are nice. When someone tries to grab her, then being able to slip out, neutralise, escape. - Although the kindergarten teachers might not thank you, now I consider it...

What you say to her about protecting herself and others who are weaker is important, of course. If she gets to the point where you show her techniques like throws or locks or whatever, it's good to do the version first where you simultaneously protect the person being thrown, making sure they land easily/softly. And so on. Maybe when she's older, she can learn the 'not nice' version as well.

Sunshine and flowers for your daughter!

[Doc Stier]

I began to teach and train all of my kids at an early age. The key to getting them interested and involved in regular practice was simply to make it a fun activity based on playing kungfu games, which required them to duck, dodge, twist, turn, and take steps to avoid being struck by large, soft rubber or plastic balls thrown at them as they stood in front of an outside wall, as one example.

Later, deflecting actions using the arms and hands were added to the mix, all of which developed practical self-defense skills while having a good time. I also encouraged them to join me in stretching and strengthening exercises as well.

We always had fun doing these things, and as a result, they grew up physically healthy and athletically fit, and were never bullied or taken advantage of throughout their school years. It was all good!