Why did the chicken cross the road?

[Walter Joyce]

BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a
CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!

JOHN MC CAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he
recognized the need to engage in cooperation and
dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of
the road.

HILLARY CLINTON:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little
chicken to cross the road; This experience makes me
uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! --
that every chicken in this country gets the chance it
deserves to cross the road. But then, this really
isn't about me.......

DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't
realize that he must first deal with the problem on
'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the
problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need
to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by
not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding
'NEW' problems.

OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having
problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so
bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his
mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm
going to give this chicken a car so that he can just
drive across the road and not live his life like the
rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken c rossed the
road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our
side of the road, or not. The chicken is either
against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we
have not yet been allowed to have access to the other
side of the road.

JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I
am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and
I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not
for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You
can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was
going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market
to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain
level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a
toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it
crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the
plain truth?' That's why they call it the 'other
side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if
you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say
we boycott all chickens until we sort out this
abomination that the liberal media white washes with
seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.

That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as
plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the
road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road,
and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be
listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the
heart warming story of how it experienced a serious
case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life
long dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads
together, in peace.

BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only
cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important
documents, and balance your check book. Internet
Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new
platform is much more stable and will never
cra...#@&&^(C% ........reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road
move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken.
What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY:
Where's my gun?

AL SHARPTON
Why ain"t there no black chickens on here? All them
chickens is white and it"s the fault of the white man
that the chicken was made to cross the road in the
first place.

[Darth Rock&Roll]

best = ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.

[nianfong]

BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a
CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/bl ... for_change

[Walter Joyce]

I am not the author, but you probably knew that.

[Dmitri]

Oh what the hell, I'll give it a shot...


MORPHEUS:
He made a choice; it is the ability to choose is what separates the chicken from the road. The chicken believed that the other side of the road was his destiny. So he took the red pill and crossed over.

ORACLE:
The real question you want to ask is, would the chicken have crossed the road if he already knew that he was going to do it?

NEO:
(looking cool, smart and decisive) What chicken?

CHICKEN:
Mind your own fucking business, people!

[Darthwing Teorist]

NEO:
Whoa! What chicken?


Dillman:
I knocked the chicken from here to the other side of the road, only using my ki.

[Bill]

Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-
nature.

[Bill]

Gilligan:
The traffic started getting rough; the chicken had to cross. If not for the plumage of its peerless tail, the chicken would be lost. The chicken would be lost!

[nianfong]

lao tzu: there is no why. the chicken just is.

schrodinger: clearly someone looked at the chicken.

[Ron Panunto]

More Lao Tzu:

The chicken that crossed the road is not the true chicken.

The Tao treats all chickens as straw dogs.

[Darthwing Teorist]

Ok, I'll give Lao Tzu a try too:
The ten thousand chickens crossed the one road.

[Kevin_Wallbridge]

Epicurus:

Mmmm, chicken.

[kenneth delves]

Shakespeare. Richard A chicken, a chicken , my kingdom for a chicken. Catesby; the chicken hath crossed the road my lord
St Thomas Aquinas:If the chicken commits an evil act by crossing the road we cannot condemn it, for we know that without evil there cannot be good
Winston Chuchill: That chicken is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma
Yogi Berra: Crossing the road is 90% mental, the other half is physical

[Craig]

Matrix Boy:

Try not to make the chicken cross the road; that is impossible. Instead, only try and realise the truth. There is no chicken.

[qiphlow]