Fighting with girls

[TaoJoannes]

Soooo,

I tend to wind up with quasi-violent, whiskey drinking women. I'm not complaining, by any stretch of the imagination, just making an observation.

A couple weeks back I was seeing this girl from Boston, and we're tying one on with a group of friends at the old casa and she's like "Hey, can you show me some of that kung fu you do?" She's like this thick (not fat) lipstick lesbian bisexual sort of girl that's tougher than most EFers and likes to get drunk and get into bar fights. About 5'10", 140lbs with the kind of booty you can just ride for days. In other words, she's TJ kryptonite.

So I'm like, "Okay." I put my left hand on her right shoulder and tell her "Try to escape my touch."

So she's bobbin and weavin and runnin and twistin and I'm just following with my hand lightly on her shoulder, it's kinda fun, and then she says "Hey, can I punch you?" and I'm like "Sure", completely not thinking about it, left hand down by my waist, right still stuck on her shoulder and WHAM, massive right hook out of nowhere caught me on the left temple, rocked me for a second. I'm like "DUDE I AM IN LOVE!!!" I put my left hand up to guard against the next punch and decided to escalate to some arm wrapping and chinna and some light takedowns and whatnot. At one point, she lost her verve when somebody came up to ask me something and I was dealing with her one-handed while talking to the other person. Other than that, though, she loved it, and I loved it, and it inspired a whole drunken battle royale in the front yard between various pairings of the folks in attendance.

This one kid that was sleeping on my couch went up to the girl I was gonna be with the week after and tried to be all tough and told her "If I can take you down in 30 seconds, you're sleeping with ME tonight" this one was 5' 4", 100lbs, and scrappy as an alley cat. The kind that will turn around and smack you in the face if you aren't brining the heat, if you know what I mean. Dude was just your average beach tard.

She was all "do your worst, fucker" (I FUCKING LOVE THIS CHICK!!!!)

So he goes in and tries this fucked up double leg sort of pick-her-up-off-the-ground-and-throw-her move, and she just locks on a head lock and controls her center so she lands on her feet, and winds up taking him down. She went down eventually, but long after 30 seconds. So I'm like "Can I try?"

"Sure" she says.

I basically did the motion of roll-back from Yang Taiji, but off of a feint to the right and a step behind, so it's a straight up Split in execution, bending the opponent over backwards over the forward right leg as the right forearm goes across the chest. It's sneaky as hell and you wind up with your back on the ground wondering what happened, the thrower has dealers choice of whether to follow up with a punch downward or something even nastier. In any case, she wound up on the ground with the wind knocked out of her in about 3 seconds, flat, choked her breath back and said "That was cool, what else you got"

So I played some more, showed her how repulse monkey can be a no-touch knockdown, showed her what it feels like to have every offense gesture neutralized as soon as it begins, all that jazz. It was fun. Then she said "Can we just do some boxing?" SO I'm like, "Sure" and we put up the dukes.

And I punched her. Not hard, but with connection, extremely scary taps, basically. I got her with a right cross, and she said "Nice Hook!" so I told her "That was a cross, this is a hook" whap, "this is a jab" whap, "and this is an uppercut" tap. At that point she had had enough.

"You actually hit me!" she said.

"You told me to," I said.

"Yeah, but usually guys say they will and then they don't do it. You actually punched me in the face."

"Yeah," I said, "and?"

"Nothing," she said, "That's fucking awesome!"

And we spent the next few weeks drinking, sparring, wrestling, and praising St Sooty, and then she ran off to Miami with some 40something strip club DJ.

Whatever, Que Cerra and all that, but damn, I miss that scrappy little ho.

I mean, I'm not a fan of violence against women, or against anyone, really, but I do like fighting my ladies.

If beatin on my girlfriend (when she asks for it and is into it) is wrong, I don't wanna be right.

[Darthwing Teorist]

You should send this piece to Vivid. They may make a screenplay out of it.

[TaoJoannes]

Dude, we could do a series to rival "Clam Lappers Vol 1-90"

[Interloper]

You need to meet a girl who looks like Bruce and can put you into a headlock like Bruce. The kind of headlock you can ride for days.

Soooo,

I tend to wind up with quasi-violent, whiskey drinking women. I'm not complaining, by any stretch of the imagination, just making an observation.

A couple weeks back I was seeing this girl from Boston, and we're tying one on with a group of friends at the old casa and she's like "Hey, can you show me some of that kung fu you do?" She's like this thick (not fat) lipstick lesbian bisexual sort of girl that's tougher than most EFers and likes to get drunk and get into bar fights. About 5'10", 140lbs with the kind of booty you can just ride for days. In other words, she's TJ kryptonite.

So I'm like, "Okay." I put my left hand on her right shoulder and tell her "Try to escape my touch."

So she's bobbin and weavin and runnin and twistin and I'm just following with my hand lightly on her shoulder, it's kinda fun, and then she says "Hey, can I punch you?" and I'm like "Sure", completely not thinking about it, left hand down by my waist, right still stuck on her shoulder and WHAM, massive right hook out of nowhere caught me on the left temple, rocked me for a second. I'm like "DUDE I AM IN LOVE!!!" I put my left hand up to guard against the next punch and decided to escalate to some arm wrapping and chinna and some light takedowns and whatnot. At one point, she lost her verve when somebody came up to ask me something and I was dealing with her one-handed while talking to the other person. Other than that, though, she loved it, and I loved it, and it inspired a whole drunken battle royale in the front yard between various pairings of the folks in attendance.

This one kid that was sleeping on my couch went up to the girl I was gonna be with the week after and tried to be all tough and told her "If I can take you down in 30 seconds, you're sleeping with ME tonight" this one was 5' 4", 100lbs, and scrappy as an alley cat. The kind that will turn around and smack you in the face if you aren't brining the heat, if you know what I mean. Dude was just your average beach tard.

She was all "do your worst, fucker" (I FUCKING LOVE THIS CHICK!!!!)

So he goes in and tries this fucked up double leg sort of pick-her-up-off-the-ground-and-throw-her move, and she just locks on a head lock and controls her center so she lands on her feet, and winds up taking him down. She went down eventually, but long after 30 seconds. So I'm like "Can I try?"

"Sure" she says.

I basically did the motion of roll-back from Yang Taiji, but off of a feint to the right and a step behind, so it's a straight up Split in execution, bending the opponent over backwards over the forward right leg as the right forearm goes across the chest. It's sneaky as hell and you wind up with your back on the ground wondering what happened, the thrower has dealers choice of whether to follow up with a punch downward or something even nastier. In any case, she wound up on the ground with the wind knocked out of her in about 3 seconds, flat, choked her breath back and said "That was cool, what else you got"

So I played some more, showed her how repulse monkey can be a no-touch knockdown, showed her what it feels like to have every offense gesture neutralized as soon as it begins, all that jazz. It was fun. Then she said "Can we just do some boxing?" SO I'm like, "Sure" and we put up the dukes.

And I punched her. Not hard, but with connection, extremely scary taps, basically. I got her with a right cross, and she said "Nice Hook!" so I told her "That was a cross, this is a hook" whap, "this is a jab" whap, "and this is an uppercut" tap. At that point she had had enough.

"You actually hit me!" she said.

"You told me to," I said.

"Yeah, but usually guys say they will and then they don't do it. You actually punched me in the face."

"Yeah," I said, "and?"

"Nothing," she said, "That's fucking awesome!"

And we spent the next few weeks drinking, sparring, wrestling, and praising St Sooty, and then she ran off to Miami with some 40something strip club DJ.

Whatever, Que Cerra and all that, but damn, I miss that scrappy little ho.

I mean, I'm not a fan of violence against women, or against anyone, really, but I do like fighting my ladies.

If beatin on my girlfriend (when she asks for it and is into it) is wrong, I don't wanna be right.

[TaoJoannes]

You need to meet a girl who looks like Bruce and can put you into a headlock like Bruce. The kind of headlock you can ride for days.

Well, the headlock part would definitely be keeper material, but do you really want to find out what Bruce and I's love child might look like?

[mixjourneyman]

If thats what floats your boat, dude, thats fine with me.

[mixjourneyman]

http://matbattle.com/

On second thought, I think I just found the sport for you!



*let me beat everyone else to it....


Mix called you gay?? Dude, there must be something seriously wrong with you

[Darthwing Teorist]

Sounds more like Mix made a proposition...

[TaoJoannes]

Dude, the list of things wrong with me is as long and distinguished as the list of bars better than this that I've been kicked out of.

Your hair looks cute, wanna roll big daddy?

[mixjourneyman]

Sounds more like Mix made a proposition...

lol.

Man, Teo hasn't been giving me an inch lately!


*hahahahaha, I made a double entendre. I feel dirty.

[Darthwing Teorist]

I gotta bug someone and qiphlow is not posting any more pics...

[mixjourneyman]

;D I gotta bug someone and qiphlow is not posting any more pics...

Chief was posting pics?


Its Ok, I called you a crazy combat boot wearing Romanian in another thread, so I figure you have the right to call me a girly boy sissy of a man. lolz

[TaoJoannes]

You should come play with my girls, Mix, they'll toughen ya up in a minute.

[mixjourneyman]

I've already dated enough psycho slut addled minded etc etc... type women.
I want me a nice woman with an office job, who knows how to cook good vegetarian food.

[TaoJoannes]

Dude, they wouldn't date you, the hair would be a deal breaker. They'd just beat you up and take your money.

It builds character.