Life is funny but it isn't funny

[origami_itto]

So I've moved around a lot and like to run my mouth, as a result I have a large number of connections on social media and many of them I actually interact with on a regular basis. They come from all walks of life and today I want to tell you about Kris.

Kris is a kind hearted, loving woman I met through the Church of the SubGenius. I've never known her to speak a word against anybody except people picking on her worthless boyfriend. And that's usually just to ask them to please stop.

And that guy, Sam, complete douchebag. No job, didn't help a bit around the house as far as cleaning or cooking or taking care of any business, expected her to wait on him hand and foot and feed him while he played video games and picked fights on the internet. And by picking fights I mean this guy was like a troll of trolls. The Church of the SubGenius attracts a certain kind of mischievous mindset so it's not uncommon for folks so associated to be known for having spirited online debates about all manner of nonsense. This man, who has no child and can barely keep himself alive, would lecture a mother of four on how best to raise their children, and would play devil's advocate for Hitler. He's one of the few people that I actually had to just wind up blocking to keep his nonsense from cluttering up my feed and irritating me. This was a common occurrence. Most everyone who knew him online did the exact same thing. I was only up to date on his shenanigans due to Kris's updates asking people to forgive him, etc.

Oh and this wretched pile of shit actually had a friend, who moved in, and acted the exact same way. They were like a pair of losers from an 80s sitcom who if brains were dynamite couldn't blow a nose between them. Just horrible people taking full advantage of Kris's kindness and need to feel useful.

Everyone who knew her told her to leave him, that he wasn't worth a shit, that she was wasting her time that she would never get back but she would have nothing of it, defended him staunchly and just said we didn't understand. I watched this for years and it broke my heart.

Finally, she decides she has enough. I don't know what broke the habit but whatever it was I was happy for her. She finally made a plan, left those two losers with the rent to figure out and moved in with another person from our circle of acquaintances, Scott.

Scott is the anti-Sam. He's responsible, he's reasonable, he's kind, he's intelligent. He shows her appreciation and takes care of her and for the last two years or so I've just been so happy for her growth and happiness and finally finding the love she deserves.

And Scott, well he is happy as can be, he bought a ring and planned to propose on Christmas.

The second week of december, he started having headaches and feeling dizzy, he fell down a couple times, there were some other symptoms I can't quite remember but he went into the ER and they checked him out and didn't find anything and sent him home with some aspirin.

It started getting worse, he started passing out, they took him back to the hospital and they looked again and this time they find that he's had a stroke, a couple strokes, and oh look there's another one happening again. Since then he's been in and out of the hospital and Kris has had to handle all of the finances and the house on her own and take care of feeding and cleaning Scott and helping him toilet and dealing with the doctors.

After the first bout in the hospital he followed through with the proposal, and she accepted. His condition has been deteriorating and as of this morning he's been diagnosed with brain damage, they're unsure of the extent since he's non-responsive and he's not breathing well enough to lay him down on the MRI. It's not looking good.

And another friend, Mo, a poet in Jacksonville. He has two beautiful little girls that were born less than a month apart to two different women. He's been doing his best to be a good daddy to them and get along with the mothers. Just before Christmas he was complaining that he didn't feel like he was anyone's priority, then one of his daughters was diagnosed with brain cancer. His entire perspective has been exploded and his understanding of priorities has completely changed.

And John, a local friend, runs the bail bond company that got me out of jail a few years back. His husband of 40 years went into the dentist to have a tooth pulled. They put him under general anesthesia and his heart failed, he died in the chair.

I don't know what my point is, maybe just processing all of this. I'm currently on a 30 day ban on facebook because apparently the modbot still doesn't understand sarcasm so I can't dump there.

Maybe I just want to say something about appreciating my own blessings and not wasting time. I can watch the parade of tragedy and be glad it isn't me, but I've been there, and I know that someday it will be my turn for another share.

Living in fear of that hammer dropping is no kind of life at all. I've got to prepare for the eventuality by filling myself up with gratitude and then putting that gratitude into action tending to my spiritual garden, cultivating and nourishing my magnanimous qi, so that I have the fortitude to withstand the coming hardships.

To know and love humans is to invite pain in a thousand ways.

[Quigga]

Hey dude, I really like what you wrote and got something personally valuable out of it. Some of it matches my very recent past. Thumbs up, like and follow

[everything]

so sorry to hear about their struggles man.

yes, we all may have such a bad hammer dropped. from the buddhist pov, all life is suffering. we have to have compassion for all living things. from the taoist and tcm and tai chi pov, meditation and qigong - hope they can help us with these challenges and with good health.

[yeniseri]

so sorry to hear about their struggles man.

yes, we all may have such a bad hammer dropped. from the buddhist pov, all life is suffering. we have to have compassion for all living things. from the taoist and tcm and tai chi pov, meditation and qigong - hope they can help us with these challenges and with good health.

The path is "difficult" so we have to find ways to "adjust ourselves' while not being a martyr for its own sake.
When interacting with many people, I hold myself back while saying to myself (self talk ) "That person will get me in jail" so I disappear not to be seen again. I exaggerate but it is a life saver. Many people are incapable of entertaining information, dialogue, etc that is alien to their illusion so let dem be.

[GrahamB]

To every man upon this earth
Death cometh soon or late.
And how can man die better
Then facing fearful odds,
For the ashes of his fathers,
And the temples of his Gods.

[Giles]

Relaxed strength, calm, resilience and centredness to you, Origami (to cite some practicalble tai chi stuff). You must have had a mixed life yourself, from some of the things you mention about yourself, and we all have some maybe or definitely regrettable stuff in our past, but I find that what you write in RSF is mostly interesting, personable and well-reasoned. So thanks for continuing to contribute.

We'll all be dead one day, and so will the ones we love and our loved children too, so at least we can value the good and worthwhile moments for what they are. These can never be erased from "it happened in the universe", irrespective of the bad stuff.

[origami_itto]

thanks for the encouraging words y'all.

[Doc Stier]

As every military veteran well knows, whatever doesn't kill you can make you stronger, or it simply leaves you mortally wounded in the field, only to die later on.

[Quigga]

Can't imagine what the words 'leave me behind' from a fellow soldier one has been training, preparing and bonding with for war do with somebody. Do you ever manage to leave the guilt behind?

[Quigga]

Or perhaps there is no guilt, only the desire that one would've could've if only I had done better... From that point of view, I have experienced something similar. Learning to deal with regrets is part of life I guess. I also hate myself for how limited I am. Or how it would've been much smarter to take a turn left or right in my past rather than trying to bulldoze through a wall with bare hands.

No, I'm not talking about American dry wall here

Forgiving yourself, accepting one's human fragility, embracing one's courage required to overcome that. Yeah.

[origami_itto]

Well Scott was almost completely brain dead, they took him off the ventilator this morning.
He's breathing on his own and there's slight brain activity. If he keeps up the best prognosis is a care home with tube feeding till he passes.

I'm just glad he went out on a high note, showing a good woman how she deserved to be treated.

[Quigga]

My sincere condolences. Yes, there are many conditions that are not compatible with life. He sounded like a straightforward guy who didn't take much shit from anyone. Making a woman happy who deserves it surely is one thing every man should experience