What's the best mostly-dead-all-day exterior/interior paint?

[Chris McKinley]

[Michael]

Chris McKinley,

RE: "What's the best mostly dead all day exterior/interior paint": Your thread title presumes that empirical, scientific evidence corresponds to human subjective evaluation of what is "best", when in fact it does not, which I have documented recently in several other threads, such as: How to Kill the Mother F*$#er Who Wants to Count My Guns; How to Kill the Bastard Who Bitch Slaps My Two-Year Old; How to Kill the Son of a Bitch Who Thinks His Knives Are Sharper Than Mine; and finally, How To Eviscerate the Scoundrel Who Schedules His Combat Training Seminar the Same Weekend as I.

However, when it comes to evaluating internal-external paint, which you mislabel as "exterior/interior", a common mistake I'll grant you, you failed to specify latex or oil, revealing your limited knowledge of the topic. For one who is a novice into an area of expertise with such a long history, you should consider the effect of posing your question upon an audience who has already visited upon this topic many times and in greater depth than you are showing an ability to appreciate.

[cdobe]

Chris McKinley,

RE: "What's the best mostly dead all day exterior/interior paint": Your thread title presumes that empirical, scientific evidence corresponds to human subjective evaluation of what is "best", when in fact it does not, which I have documented recently in several other threads, such as: How to Kill the Mother F*$#er Who Wants to Count My Guns; How to Kill the Bastard Who Bitch Slaps My Two-Year Old; How to Kill the Son of a Bitch Who Thinks His Knives Are Sharper Than Mine; and finally, How To Eviscerate the Scoundrel Who Schedules His Combat Training Seminar the Same Weekend as I.

However, when it comes to evaluating internal-external paint, which you mislabel as "exterior/interior", a common mistake I'll grant you, you failed to specify latex or oil, revealing your limited knowledge of the topic. For one who is a novice into an area of expertise with such a long history, you should consider the effect of posing your question upon an audience who has already visited upon this topic many times and in greater depth than you are showing an ability to appreciate.

Quoted for awesomeness. This is the intellectually most honest post evah

[GrahamB]

Most people only practice interior painting for mere aesthetic quality - they have no idea how to apply the principles to real life. Drawing on my years spent as a special operative (SPETNAZ) painter and decorator, I shall soon be running a special series of seminars where I will apply the art of interior painting to proper functional combatives or close quarter combat (CQC) for civilian/military purposes.

More details to follow. Bring your own paintbrush. Yes, there will be splashes. You have been warned.

[RobP2]

Your "str33t" combat paint is fake, you only paint by numbers and have never painted under live conditions. Only I have the REEEL stuff, it's Mixed Matt Acrylic and it's been proven countless times in painting competitions.

"Not many people know, the Fuhrer was a great painter.....a whole apartment in one afternoon - TWO COATS!"

[GrahamB]

Rob, I don't think your Mixed Matt Acrylic would work if there was a knife involved. Sorry. Not enough "aliveness".

[Ian]

I've had to paint on the streets on numerous occassions, and spent 3 years painting the doors of some of the houses in the roughest neighbourhoods in the UK. I've stated this numerous times in the past and anyone who knows me can verify that what I say is true.

Ps. don't be fooled by Graham's 'modest and traditional' sauce. He uses clear movements but I don't buy into his story of 'hidden family art'. Also he's missing whole body movement. He only paints with his arms and he buys his paints from IKEA. A nice guy though.

[GrahamB]

Ian, are you saying my paint is fake?

[cdobe]

Brush Knee anyone ?

[GrahamB]

The art has a dark side.

[RobP2]

Eat this bitches, no contact empty force painting

[Michael]

Pneumatic is a whole different topic and deserves its own thread. Quite obviously, this one is devoted to brush knee, twist step painting.

[Dmitri]

Chris McKinley,

RE: "What's the best mostly dead all day exterior/interior paint": Your thread title presumes that empirical, scientific evidence corresponds to human subjective evaluation of what is "best", when in fact it does not, which I have documented recently in several other threads, such as: How to Kill the Mother F*$#er Who Wants to Count My Guns; How to Kill the Bastard Who Bitch Slaps My Two-Year Old; How to Kill the Son of a Bitch Who Thinks His Knives Are Sharper Than Mine; and finally, How To Eviscerate the Scoundrel Who Schedules His Combat Training Seminar the Same Weekend as I.

However, when it comes to evaluating internal-external paint, which you mislabel as "exterior/interior", a common mistake I'll grant you, you failed to specify latex or oil, revealing your limited knowledge of the topic. For one who is a novice into an area of expertise with such a long history, you should consider the effect of posing your question upon an audience who has already visited upon this topic many times and in greater depth than you are showing an ability to appreciate.

Not bad Michael, not bad at all!

[Chris Fleming]

OH SNAP MICHAEL!!!!!!!!!!

[Michael Babin]

Hundred of years ago, my many times great grandfatber was hiding from a gang of unionized interior decorators in the mountains. At the top of Mount Brushmore, he found an ancient scaffolding and used it to climb into a cave to hide from his pursuers.

Exploring the cave, he found a skeleton dressed in the tell-tale rags of a painter, a rotting brush was clutched in one hand and an old manuscript in the other hand. The pages were covered in an ancient script that my ancestor couldn't read and only the fading colour samples revealed it to be something of great importance to his craft.

That night while he slept, the ghost of the long-dead painter appeared to him in a dream and helped him to read the manuscript which revealed the secrets of painting without leaving brush marks as well as much more.

In the end, he spent months in the cave practising his brush strokes with paints he ground together from fruit and minerals. When he left, his fame spread far and wide... but he never revealed the final words of the ghost that first night.

"Re-paint, my disciple, re-paint... and thin no more!"

N.B. Honorary Mention at this year's Ottawa "Bad Parody Mated to Bad Joke About Painting" Festival.